Tuesday, May 4, 2004

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Gore TV!!

Reuters reports that Al Gore has found a day job -- trying to become the next Rupert Murdoch:

Former Vice President Al Gore plans to build a youth-oriented cable television network he hopes will become an independent voice in a media industry dominated by large conglomerates, he said on Tuesday.

Gore led an investor group that bought Newsworld International from Vivendi Universal for an undisclosed sum. He plans to relaunch the yet-unnamed channel to focus on public affairs and entertainment for 18-to-34-year-olds and it will not have a political affiliation.

Speculation has swirled that Gore would launch a network to counter Fox News Channel, which unseated CNN as the No. 1 U.S. cable news channel with a formula of combining hard news coverage with brash talk shows that some have criticized as conservative.

"This is not going to be a liberal network, or a Democratic network in any way, shape, or form," the former vice president said.

Rather, he said, the reason for buying the network was to create an independent source of information.

"The trend toward consolidation and conglomerate ownership, while understandable due to business dynamics, does present some problems for the American people," Gore said. "Having an independent voice is a very important value to safeguard."

Gore will serve as chairman of the new network and told Reuters he would be spending most of his time on the project.

"I will be extremely active in this venture and I will not hesitate to state a point of view on the issues that affect the industry," Gore said....

Gore and [business partner Joel] Hyatt gave little information on what would replace the current programing.

"It's going to be programing young people care about," Hyatt said. "The documentary is a format we'll use. We're going to use the comedic format. We're going to be irreverent. We're going to be bold."

Readers are invited to submit programming ideas here -- beyond the obviously brilliant suggestion of hiring lots of bloggers.

UPDATE: For those hard at work trying to come up with program ideas, this Zap2it story quotes Gore more extensively on the desired content:

"We are launching an exciting television network for young men and women who want to know more about their world and who enjoy real-life stories created with, by and for their own generation," says Gore, who will serve as chairman of INdTV. "These stories will be in a voice that young people recognize and from a point of view they identify as their own."

Well, that clears things right up.

ANOTHER UPDATE: So far, my faves are the reality TV suggestion "Alpha Male Makeover" and the game show called "The Lock Box".

posted by Dan on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM


"Hybrid Talk" with Drone and Phony?

posted by: Greg Piper on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Who in hell is Al Gore? The name seems vaguely familiar. Wasn’t he a minor league baseball player?

posted by: David Thomson on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Just how much money does Gore have? Seems like he's been blowing a lot lately...

posted by: spoon on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Spoon: It isn't his money. It never is.

"We're going to use the comedic format. We're going to be irreverent. We're going to be bold."
Good idea. It worked so well for Air America.
posted by: Barbara Skolaut on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

"This is not going to be a liberal network, a Democratic network or a political network," Gore said at a news conference.

Not Said: "We already have PBS, NPR, and CBS for that. No, we're going to be to cable what Indymedia is to the Internet. And after all, isn't passion in reporting so much more important than facts?"

posted by: Thief on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

"Insomnia Miracle Cure Hour". Al Gore reads his senate speeches.

"Get Jiggy With It". Al and Tipper make-out session.

posted by: Ernst Blofeld on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Mondays: 8-9pm

featuring Paul Begala and James Carville.

Tuesdays: 7-8pm

"You Can Call Me Al"--call in show
Featuring Al Sharpton, Al Franken, and Al Gore (There's a frightening confluence of "Als" on the left, what gives?)

Wednesdays: 6-6:30pm
"Thirty Minute Hate."
No content. just a picture of GWB for 30 minutes straight.

posted by: Christopher Cross on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Some ideas:

"Hillary's World" - former attorney and first lady turned senator is involved in zany situations involving mysteriously disappearing legal bills, etc.

"Senator and Inventor" - former senator and vice-president revolutionizes the world by inventing something called the internet

"Subtleties of the English Language" - educational show in which a former president expounds on nuances in the meaning of the word "is", what "sex with that woman" actually means and why oral sex isn't really sex, and other aspects of the English language valuable to lawyers.

"Weakest Bachelor" - losers get a date with former attorney general and candidate for governor of Florida

posted by: Silicon Valley Jim on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

"We're going to use the comedic format. We're going to be irreverent. We're going to be bold."

Good luck with that. I can't wait to see what happens when the "irreverent" "comedic format" comes up against bitter feminists and the angry racial grievance industry.

I'm reminded of the old joke:

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

posted by: AK on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Robot Wars - Gearheads and geeks put together combat robots to fight it out in arena. Final winner then is entered into a debate with the ultimate robot, Al Gore.

posted by: Laurence Simon on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

"Marxism 101" - Dedicated to proving that socialism will work if just done by the right people.

"The UN Worship Hour" - A show dedicated to reverant worship of the great salvation of the human race, the UN.

"French Cooking" - Dedicated to the most enlightened country on the face of the earth.

posted by: Another Thought on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

how about a show where young people complain about how there hasn't been a national Dem candidate they could give a shit about since Clinton?

posted by: John Atkinson on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Robert Byrd's "Kooky Komedy Korner".

posted by: Da Kine on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

"We're going to be irreverent. We're going to be bold."

Just like the Simpsons episode where the producers of Itchy and Scratchy came up with the idea for Poochie.

posted by: Professor Kaos on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

I'll look forward to production. I usually watch Newsworld when CNN, Fox, Hardball et al become tired.

The opportunity stands a good chance of success given MTV, Spike, BBCAmerica, Trio...

posted by: bill on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

The children's programming:

"Taxes: Our Little Friends" - designed to acquaint young people with the concept of taxes and inculcate in them a tolerant and amiable relationship with taxes.

"You are Entitled" - a motivational show designed to instill in youth the entitlement mentality. The show will teach them to expect government to solve all of their problems for them and, lacking that, develop a proper "victim" mentality.

"It's all Relative" - designed to teach children the concepts of moral relativism. Will aim to teach children that all traditional teachings and values are myths.

posted by: Another Thought on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

"Feelings over Facts" - Will teach the primacy of feelings over reason and facts. Will teach that policies that appeal to fuzzy warm feelings are preferable to policies that actually work. Will teach that good intentions are enough and are more important than consequences.

posted by: Another Thought on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Uncle Risky's Technology Tips

Episode 1: Dry Toilets from the 1890s - DIY Outhouse Kit and Lye Storage.

Episode 2: Modem Mods: Squeezing out 125 baud!

Episode 3: SImplfy 6-5000 - Putting Women Back to Work Through Analog Switching Technology!


posted by: Andrew on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Mine are here


posted by: J. Fielek on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Some years ago, Tipper was very concerned about the standards for entertainment that was suitable for young people. Perhaps she can be the programming director for the network that provides "programing young people care about."

posted by: D. Fleming on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

One radio report said much of the programing would be provided by the Canadian Broadcasting Corp. Shouldn't Canada allow Fox into Canada before we allow the CBC into the U.S.?

posted by: Meatss on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

I propose they hire Evan Coyne Malone to cover political rallies.

posted by: Stefan Sharkansky on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Well, they say their target is "young men and women who want to know more about their world and who enjoy real-life stories created with, by and for their own generation"

I suppose that means they'll be doing stories like this one, right?


posted by: Tim Koruna on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Outsourcing content to Canada?

posted by: old maltese on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

"The Corn and Soybean Subsidy Hour", with host Jim Hightower.

posted by: Steve in Houston on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

"This Old Party" - Each installment documents the ongoing effort to repair and remodel the Democratc Party. The viewer sees it all, from the biggest structural modification to the most trivial cosmetic flourish. (But mostly just cosmetic flourishes.)

"Bubba and Butthead" - The wild and whacky adventures of "best buds" Bill Clinton and Al Gore.

"Idle American" - Contestants vie for an opportunity to be the next Democratic nominee for president. Each week, viewers vote for who they think is the most electable. That person is then eliminated from the competition.

Of course, this and all the rest of the channel's programming content will be subject to review and censorship by its host, the Canadian Broadcasting Company, so most of it will be deemed too controversial to air. Therefore, expect to see a lot of bad Canadian documentaries and Bollywood films instead!

posted by: WBB on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

"Alpha Male Makeover"--Each week a new group of consultants remakes Al Gore with new clothes, hairstyle, digs and attitude. Viewers choose the Al they like best and at the end of each season, Gore becomes that person.

"Last Man Standing" -- It's winner take all as studio audience members compete for cash and prizes, seeing who can listen longest to nonstop Democratic political speeches! Scheduled to appear: Bill Clinton, John "F'n" Kerry, Ted Kennedy, Robert "KKK" Byrd, Fidel Castro, Jesse Jackson, Anne Richards and Mario Cuomo.

"Cheater" -- An angry wife and her team of detectives catch her unfaithful husband in his latest extramarital liason. Special Guest Stars: Bill and Hillary Clinton

"VTV - Victim Television". Members of favored liberal constituencies describe their awful experiences with white male conservative talk radio listeners.

"Queer Eye for that Gore Guy" -- The Fab Five tries to rescue Al Gore from eternal geekdom.

posted by: Mike on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

An original INdTV movie..

Quest For Fire II...Two centuries after President Gore signs the Kyoto treaty humans rediscover fire

posted by: Dan on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

"We are launching an exciting television network for young men and women who want to know more about their world and who enjoy real-life stories created with, by and for their own generation," says Gore,****WHO IS 56 YEARS OLD ********, who will serve as chairman of INdTV.

posted by: vtrtl on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

I just have a name and motto:
Al Gorezeera
We invented television news.

posted by: inkling on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

On Gore's channel, the weather reports might go something like this:

"Yesterday's temperatures in Manhattan were higher than average, evidence of global warming. Today's temps are a bit lower than average, definite proof of global warming. Our forecast: 'The Day After Tomorrow' we'll be flash frozen. Next week we should see higher or lower temperatures, again, due to global warming."

posted by: c on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

"Hooked on Phonics" with your host Barbara Streisand.

posted by: JR on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

"The Mark of Yassar", adventure series where Yassar, an appearently harmless friend of Kofi, JFK and Al befuddles the IDF with his clever and fatal attacks on women and children.

posted by: Dan on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Game shows!

The Lock Box - Contestants vie for a pot of money they cannot have until they turn 70!

What My Lyin'? - Contestants have to determine the mystery guest based upon a recitation of their lies.

The $100,000,000,000,000,000 Pyramid - Contestants answer questions on Social Security to win as much as $2,800 a month for life!

Jeopardy! - Contestants match DNC talking points with the Republican policies being targeted.

posted by: charles austin on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

A few show titles for Al’s “Must Flee TV”:
Pimp My Hybrid
Junk Science Theater 3000
Tipper the Music Slayer
Now with Bill Moyers

posted by: inkling on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Wed. 7-8 "Fundraising the Fun Way"
This week: Separation of Church and State? Bah humbug...see how Buddist Temples can really bring in the cash. But not more than crazy, zany sleepovers at the White House!

Thursday Must See Reality TV 8-10
Find out what happens next on "Florida 2000, The Never-Ending Saga" See Jamie Gorelick interview hopeful felons out on parole about their upcoming vote!

Friday's Legal Review Corner 10-11
"No Controlling Legal Authority - It's meaning and implications"

posted by: JR in the Windy City on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

"No Controlling Legal Authority" -- Advice for anti-globalization protestors/anarchists who often find themselves behind bars.

"Earth in the 'Fair and Balance'" -- Analyzing anti-environmental media bias in the age of dominance of the "fair and balanced" FoxNews Network.

"Is You Is or Is You Ain't My Baby (it all depends on what the meaning of "is" is)" -- (Hosted by Bill Clinton) A reality TV show where the former President attempts to winnow down to one lucky "lady" a field of 25 slightly overweight, slightly slutty-looking young women with whom he seeks to have an inappropriate relationship. Drama will surely be added when the former President's wife, New York Senator Hillary Clinton, appears on the show. Will she comment on the vast, right-wing conspiracy out to get her husband or throw another ashtray at his head? Also, look for a guest appearance by Ken Starr on the final episode of the season. Starr will observe the "consummation" of the inappropriate relationship and issue a detailed report several years later.

"Introduction to Bhuddism" -- Hosted by former Vice President Gore himself, the show will be broadcast live from a Bhuddist monastery in California. The second purpose of the show will be to raise funds for the continuing operation of Mr. Gore's TV channel.

"Wen Ho Lee-er Than Thou" -- Chat with accused Red Chinese spy Wen Ho Lee about his lack of religious faith and the role it played in his theft of designs for small nuclear warheads.

"Planting (Charlie) Tries" Retrospective of Red China's successful efforts to insinuate agents into Democratic politics during the Clinton Years.

posted by: tibor on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Sundays 2am - 2:04:33
"Tippers Music Bash!"

Playing John Cage's 4'33"

posted by: Christopher Cross on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

The Left Wing: A bold, comedic ensemble cast populates a law firm full of young, earnest 20-30 somethings, led by a pair of gruff, yet charming old warriors. They strive to right wrongs imposed by evil capitalist interests. They gloat at the closing of every doctor's office that can no longer pay malpractice insurance. They scoff at small business managers who cannot afford benefits for employees. Sadly, their state budget deficit balloons uncontrollably, forcing them to take jobs as public defenders for crack users and pedophiles. The Left Wing: it's your flight into Washington state's reality.

posted by: Jim on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Program suggestions:
1)The New Hardy Boys-the boys work on the school newspaper and each week expose another portion of Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
2)The New Nancy Drew-our heroine is now on the staff of Democratic Senator from South and each week uncovers abuses of Patriot Act covered up by John Ashcroft
3)M.A.S.H. II-Hawkeye and Trapper John's grandchildren are Reserve doctors called up for Iraq.Follow their adventures as they must deal with bloodthirsty generals,crooked contractors and misunderstood Iraqi freedom fighters
4)Bewitched Again-Samantha and Darrin are newlyweds.He is spokesman for greedy,multinational conglomerate that destroys nature so it can build polluting factories.Sam is a green witch who uses her magic to heal the Earth.Sam's mom is a militant member of Peta.Watch the fun as Sam tries to enlighten Darrin.
5)The How To Show-first 4 episodes=
How to...speak in public w/Al Gore
How to...drive a car w/Ted Kennedy
How to...testify in court w/Bill Clinton
How to...make an arrest w/Janet Reno

posted by: Stephen on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

"It's like, the News!" ... possible show title.

In a more serious vein, I note that the major news media are judged clueless and an effort to break the mold of the majors is also judged clueless... before it starts.

posted by: Jay Rosen on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

"Having an independent voice is a very important value to safeguard."

Why? I would have thought that the content of the "independent voice" would be what it something worth protecting...

Now substitute "John Kerry" for "Al Gore" throughout the article... no dissonance is there? That's because their native language is Mediocre Senatorspeak...

posted by: jagcap on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

I like "Al Gorezeera," suggested by inkling. Loaded in all the right ways...

In fact, I foresee that to be immensely popular on the talk show scene.

posted by: Mark on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Hire Bob Edwards for a morning show.

posted by: mperloe on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

FEAR FACTOR: DEMOCRAT EDITION - Ordinary Americans go driving with Ted Kennedy, visit a gay bar with Barney Frank, stop by a tobacco shop with Henry Waxman, and visit an expensive Jamaican resort with a bathing suit-wearing Hillary Rodham Clinton and 40 members of her entourage.

BILL 'N HILL - Michael Moore hosts a show where amateur video sleuths attempt to track down evidence that Bill and Hillary Clinton actually spend time together.

SURVIVOR, DEMOCRAT ALL-STARS - Nine candidates live together for several months, touring the country and trying to come up with enough money and votes to make it to the convention. This week: Al Sharpton spends the night at Dennis Kucinich's small house and complains that Kucinich's suits are too small to borrow.

posted by: cedar pundit on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

"Janet Reno's Dance Party" would be an absolute necessity for late night!

posted by: Charles on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

* LockBox! - The Fun Filled Action Game. Contestants win, but the winnings are secured away in a lockbox, until the contestant turns 74.5 years old.

* Al Gore's 'Connections' --- history reinterpeted through Al Gore's personal connection with the event. Witness the writing of 'Love Story', the invention of the internet, et cetera.

"It's the television version of Forrest Gump ... with the same accent!" Matt Roush.

** Al Gore: The Night Stalker.
Dress him up like Drudge and set Al Gore loose investigating the mysterious doings and happenings in and around Washington DC.

posted by: Alias Anonymous on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

"Things I've invented. Hosted by Al Gore."

posted by: provolt on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

"Room 222 II"

A bunch of porn-generation high school students (including the class clown, played by Al Gore, inexplicably attired in a red afro wig) FIGHT THE MAN led by their teacher, a mousy woman played by Janeane Garofalo, with a steel backbone, played by Janet Reno.

Hilarity ensues on a weekly basis as the students use politically correct techniques to come to terms with the forces of Amerikkkan fascism.

Bad music plays incessantly.

posted by: Russ on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Movie: "Tennessee Al and the Temple of Dollars"

Tennessee Al is a mild mannered policy wonk by day, who turns into a wild and crazy Alpha male political fundraiser by night. Follow his adventures as he visits a mysterious Buddhist temple and tries to make off with laundered Chinese millions while avoiding the evil Republican Gestapo.

posted by: Mark Cameron on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

"Snippy About It"

Based loosely on the Letterman routines, Al Gore calls people at random.

After they talk he hangs up, then calls back and retracts everything he said in the first call.

posted by: jeanneB on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

A few program suggestions for AL-TV:

Watching (Lead Free) Paint Dry.

Father (of the Internet) Knows Best.

Ted Kennedy House Party.

The DC

Tour of Duty (in under six months).

20/20 Hindsight

Fear Factor (a.k.a., the 6:00 News)

Joe (Biden) Millionaire

more later.......

posted by: cliff on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Reality show: RECOUNT 2000- Contestants muddle through the whole hanging chad/dimpled chad/ etc issue in an attempt to rewrite history. Winner determined by who counts the most votes for Sore/Loserman.

SOROS/BUFFETT POWER HOUR- Financial tips for the liberal elite to help keep the little guys down and force them to wait for handouts, since "we know what's best for them".

POLITICAL CLEAN SWEEP- a practical show, topics ranging from as trivial as removing stains from blue dresses to big jobs like restoring cars that have been driven off bridges. Save the "Dumping a Body in a National Park" show for sweeps week.

posted by: Gerry Owen on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Prior to this announcement, I blogged What Would Elected President "Super" Al Gore Have Done? That could be developed into a series.

Another possibilities is 'Tipper's Pool Party' or, on Sunday mornings at 6AM, 'Talk to Joe.'

posted by: The Lonewacko Blog on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Since it's coming from Canada, how about SCTV (Second Candidate TV) the wacky story of a candidate who can never quite make it to the nig office...

posted by: Richard McEnroe on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

527: The hilarious misadventures of Moo-On, a political action committee not coordinated with any campaign. Tonight's guest star, Zach Exley.

Veepstakes: 16 contestants vie for the right to be first mate on the SS Kerrytanic. Tonight's episode: 13 of the contestants quit; the other 3 go cruising for broads with Ted Kennedy.

posted by: Brainster on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]


You missed this one:

45.5 baud TTY eliminates the need to learn the Morse Code.

followed by the human interest story:

Telegraph Operators Outsourced

And this:

Rolling papers - gummed or plain?


The Automobile - is it just a passing fad?

posted by: M. Simon on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Knock-off the Law and Order suite: Start with "Lowerin' Order", set 10 yrs in the future; Ed Asner is an urban police chief who has the idea of lowering the crime rate to zero by legalizing everything.

Ed can't be fired because he has some dirt on the corrupt mayor (played by "Dennis-the-K", an ex-presidential candidate who gets made fun of by internet commenters who can't spell his name). The comedy schtik is, the city is filling up with "criminals" (as they are known elsewhere), and each week a guest-star plays a new zany and fun criminal who preys on some boring law-abiding citizen (always played by Al Gore, assuming various personas and getting the chance to show his flair with costumes and make-up). Each installment concludes with Al Gore's new character moving away in tears and grief, fleeing the city (Al can do some edgy fourth-wall stuff, winking at an audience which knows he'll be back next week as a new character).

A continuing sub-plot is the city being bankrupt (nobody to tax) and dependant on state and federal taxpayers to "fund the budget". Asner every week has to take a trip to beg the governor (Robert Redford) and/or the president (Jeanene Grafolio playing Hillary) to hand-over some "emergency funding". The Gov. and the Pres. are always difficult to locate as they are in-hiding from Osama bin Laden (Bill Clinton in mufti), the villain, who has reneged on the peace treaty he had signed with previous President Kerry (John Kerry, now the only inmate in the city jail, adding mystery to the show and the show-in-show, because no one ever lets him out after the daily shooting).

Osama has been given the Eastern Seaboard in exchange for peace, but he lied--that's why ex-pres. Kerry is in jail, for taking Clinton, I mean bin-Laden's word) and every week the whole cast is always very funny expressing peeve about having lost the Eastern USA, as well as the fact that the gov. and the pres. have to stay underground and on the move (thus providing new set locations, as well as plenty of drama).

More later, mommy says i have to go to bed now.

posted by: Buddy Larsen on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

P.S. Sorry, forgot to mention, the next show in the suite is "Lawn Ardor", about the three stooges as hysterical greenies living in a suburb full of yard-manicuring suburbanites. The Stooges are dedicated to saving the earth right there at home, by stealing the equipment and/or sabotaging the lawnmowing, weed-eating, and leaf-blowing efforts of the entire neighborhood. All the neighbors are known as Mr. and Mrs. Wilson, tying the show in with the similar (and nostalgic) Dennis-the-Menace show. This is a marketable hook because show star, supported by Carville and Begala as Shemp and Larry, is Moe, played by Dennis-the-K!

Third show in the suite is a serious drama set in an ad agency shooting PSA ads concerned with AIDS, STDs, and the overpopulation issues. The characters are a brother and sister (Michael Moore and Nancy Pelosi) who are married to each other and living at home with their grandparents (Alec Baldwin and Barbra Streisand). The plots follow the characters who weave a thread of demonstrating in word and deed the brilliant new theory of addressing the AIDS, STD, and overpopulation issues simultaneously through the means of abstinance.

The show's conceit is that by being overweight, unhygenic, screechy-voiced and otherwise physically disgusting, one can achieve a facsimile of socially-conscious nobility. The show's title will be "Lowerin' Ardor".

posted by: Buddy Larsen on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

How about "Lifestyles of the Rich and Socially Enlightened."

Each weeks episode can focus on the life style of important progressive individuals like Ted Kennedy, John Kerry, Fidel Castro, etc. Not only will it be entertaining, it can also be educational for the children, as it will demonstrate to them that it is okay to be wealthy just so long as you have the correct egalitarian attitudes and you didn't do anything vulgar like EARNING that money.

posted by: tcobb on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Law & Order & Legal Authority

posted by: bleeding brain on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

I have my own suggestions here:


posted by: Matt on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

An idea for The Gore Channel: The History of the Wooded Indian. It could turn into a geneological study for the former V.P.

posted by: gary on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Oops! That should be Wooden Indian.

posted by: gary on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

"44 Minutes" because CBS has been lying to you for 35 years.

"INdTV's Wide World of Torts", exclusive coverage of the most ridiculous lawsuits and the lawyers that file them.

"I'm With Dean", a hilarious romp based on the hit Comedy Central show "I'm with Busey" where a person gets to follow Howard Dean around for the day.

posted by: brennan stout on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

SpongeBob Hour with Al Gore as host shows youth how to live off of the welfare state indefinitely if you have the right daddy. Special guests include George W Bush.

posted by: paul cassel on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

"The Price Control Is Right!" M-F 9a-10a - Contestants vie for valuable prizes by guessing at what the price of specific items should be.

"Curb Your Enthusiasm" - Thurs. 8p - Union leaders and ward bosses visit various locales instructing members how to best work the least amount of time for the most amount of money.

The Multi-Cultural, Non-Denominational, All-Inclusive, Non-Discriminatory, Ecumenical, Affirmation Hour. Sunday 10a - Host Rev. Al Gore of the First Egalitarian Confluence Center discusses wide-ranging topics related to all faiths and religions except Christianity.

posted by: CandPeez on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Conspiracy!: Hosted by Michael Moore. Each week a new conspiracy is dramatized. First up; The Fictitious Moon-Landing, did Bush know and when did he know it?---The Grassy knoll, was it really grassy and what the heck is a knoll??

Will also feature E! type shows hosted by Janet Reno. Some weekly features: Bill and *insert name*, a tragic love story.----Al and Tipper, how do they keep their romance hot, Hot, HOT!

Date the Intern: Hosted by the Hottest intern around, Monica. Each week a congressman or senator compete for a chance at an affair with a young intern. Tips on what to do with the intern after the affair is over provided by Gary Condit.

posted by: Kelly on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Well, it's using CBC feeds, which tells you how bad things are here (when the openly biased US network says it can use the "objective" Canadian broadcaster's feeds without alteration"...)

So, expect something like:
"Talking with Republicans". A play off of Rick Mercer's CBC show "Talking with Americans", where you interview hundreds of members of the target group with absurd questions, air the dumbest responses as if they're random (even coaching and haranguing people if need be), and let your audience feel smug about what gullible rubes those other guys are.

Cheap and pre-tested.

posted by: Craig on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Al Gore: More Embarrassing Than Your Dad

posted by: roger on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

"Liberal Cribs"- A show that gives the viewers an inside view of where and how liberal figureheads live... Each episode, the winner of a write-in contest gets a tour of a liberal pad, to see how their 'leaders' REALLY live...

posted by: Eric on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

A pie-eating contest between Michael Moore and Teddy Kennedy. Viewers get to bet. The show's 15% take of the betting pool is used to pay Teddy's car insurance for a year.

posted by: Silicon Valley Jim on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

A fourth show is added to the suite: "Law To Order"; Rob Reiner plays Al Franken, who has been kicked upstairs from radio via appointment to the federal bench by a desperate-for-a-Daschle-approved-warm-body President Bush (Daschle is played by digitally-resuscitated Peter Lorre, Bush by digitally-resuscitated Adolf Hitler). Judge Franken, wearing glasses that somehow make him morally blind (slipped to him by terrorist mastermind "Woody", played by Woody Harrelson), has developed a secret habit whereby he can make no decisions at all until told what to do by special-identity-victim-interest-group crusader Rob Reiner (played by Al Franken). Pure democracy is finally achieved this way, every court case is decided by the desires of one of Mr. Reiner's victim groups. Rob, on the west coast, has to comically get the decision ready by the time Judge Al calls in for it from his courtroom on the east coast (lots of hilarious split-screening here). The show will be dedicated to victim-group ideology, but since this has to be kept secret from the TV audience the apparent theme of the show will be "comedy". The comedy is expected to simply flash forth from the show's stars. Says producer Terry McAuliffe: "With these guys, we can't lose! They're just spontaneously funny!"

posted by: Buddy Larsen on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

INdECIPHERABLE: Al Gore puts on a sweater and talks to kids about their future (weekly 1/2 hour segment).

INdEFENSIBLE: In this 1/2 hour segment Terry McAuliffe explains what Al Gore just said, weakly.

posted by: half-vast conspirator on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

The Red-China Monologues: Al Gore explains the value of International fund-raising and influence peddling.

Filibuster Theatre: Tom Daschle stars as an eloquent orator who seeks to right the world's wrongs with a neverending speech. (Note: Writers desperately needed, or the show will be 'disappointing.')

posted by: half-vast conspirator on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

Any liberal network will need a good touchy-feely advice show:

Masturbating with Joycelyn

Perfect for the after-school slot.

posted by: Rob on 05.04.04 at 05:27 PM [permalink]

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