Worst name for a kid that I've heard?

That would be Ripcord (possibly Rip Cord -- never inquired as to the spelling), a son of a paratrooper that my father knew when he was in the Army.

If my memory is not failing me, he had a sibling named Airborne.

Actually, I can't decide which is worse.

Worst Names?

A coworker of my father, Tom Wieser, named his son Bud.

A local talk radio host in Dallas is named Benjamin Dover. (I've never heard him refer to himself, or allow his guests to call him Ben.) He also writes a column for the local paper.

Former Texas Governor Stephen Hogg named his daughter Ima. She never married.

Have we all forgotten Frank's daughter, Moon Unit Zappa?

Zowie Bowie (David's offspring in the first marriage)

Latrina. The last name doesn't matter.

father of a friend:

Rock Bottomly

I ran into 2 Yuppie acquaintances who had condemned their baby boy to a childhood of torment and resentment by naming him Melcher. Yes, there was an inheritance involved.

One of the people I work with is named Phonetip.

She goes by Tip.

I knew a guy in college named Eric Shin. Everyone called him "Woody".

I understand that Germaine Jackson has named his daughter 'Germajesty'.

This isn't so bad individually, but I had a former co-worker named Eric Lipton, who once dated a girl named Elizabeth Bigelow. Luckily they broke up instead of marrying and hyphenating their names together.

Richard Hertz (goes by Dick)
Richard Sweatt (also goes by Dick, ran for a NH Congressional Seat a few years ago and my kids still haven't stopped laughing.

One of my colleagues is named Richard Falek. Not even kidding.

I have a friend named Jennifer Death. Seriously, and her brother is name Preston Death.

Anybody know a boy named 'Sue'?

yeah, but what goes with Death? Or is that their middle name?

the best i've run across so far is randy bunney.

Foster Payne, the current head of military intelligence at Abu Ghraib

Female. Pronounced Fuh-mah-lee.

Espn, pronounced Espen, after the sports network.

Children named after consumer brands (like "Armani") or car manufacturers (like "LaHonda" or "LaToyota"). I am not making this up -- and it is just plain gross.

Taffy and Candy Apple, two cheerleaders at my high school many eons ago.

Siran Stacy was an Alabama football player in a Bowl game a long time ago and I can remember hearing his story during the broadcast. His mother wanted to name him after Saran Wrap because she liked how it sounded. Wary of the possibility that others may share her effection for the sonorous plastic wrap she decided to change the spelling to ensure the unique nature of her son's name. Mission accomplished.

My girlfriend and I have joked about naming our kids Wal-Mart and Target. If there's a third one, he can be called Monticello

Just remembered a few more:

A few years back there was a football player for the Detroit Lions named Harry Colon.

I had a friend whose last name was Funk. She had a litle boy and named him Zeppo.

Years of working in property records have turned up quite a few: Oliver Green, and LaStrada and Havoline are among my favorites. I guess Lemongello and Orangello are urban legends. But surely the worst must be Dweezel.

I went to high school with a girl named Bell Tinker.

The Brothers Mapp - there were two prominent HS ballers named Scientific Mapp and Majestic Mapp in the Bronx in the '90s.

When I was looking online for a name for my son four years ago, I ran into this one at one of the baby names sites:

Crystal Chanda Lear

The name's a bit odd, but at least it's spelled normally and not a made up mash of syllables.

Regardless, Coldplay made a funny video in honor of the little fruit's birth, as a different band called "The Nappies":

http://coldplay.com/nappies.html

(Only available until 5/23, apparently.)

There's shit goin' on that you can't disguise;
Your boobs growin' out ten times the size.
Your cup's gone up from an A to D,
That's bad for you, but fun for me...

I'll be there with you, baby,
Through the thin and the thick.
I'm gonna clean up all the poo and the sick...

[Chorus]
I ain't no baddy, I'm your baby's daddy.

Crystal Chanda Lear was the daughter of the guy who invented the 8-track tape and the Lear Jet.

I once worked on a contract, for which the contract monitor was Throckmorton T. Hodges.

I went to college with a guy named Burl Ives.

A Massachusetts family surnamed Pickup named their son Chevy. You will be shocked to learn that I heard of them due to their involvement with the criminal justice system of the Commonwealth.

In the "fitting names" department, I know a pro photographer in Chicago named Chuck Shotwell.

http://www.shotwellphotography.com/

My dad's colleague's last name is Turtle... his first name is Harry... that's right.. Harry Turtle.

Baby's named a bad, bad thing.

Two of my press contacts have superb names:

Tilly von Twickle, and Joanna Beaver.

BTW, I don't think Apple is such a terrible name, but the lovely Gwynneth and husband Chris should understand that if the girl is raised here in Britain, her nickname at school will be "cider" or "scrumpy". Actually, "scrumpy" could be quite cute.

The recently deceased Italian superbanker Enrico Cuccia's wife was named "Idea Nuova Socialista." She had a sister named "Vittoria Proletaria" and another named, less implausibly, "Italia Libera." And no, this was no mistake. Their father, financier, banker, and government minister Alberto Beneduce, was a romantic socialist in his young days and had his kids before he became a financier. In any case, Italian financiers aren't Warren Buffett. They've always liked the state and socialism (Italian style).

If you want a unique name for your kid try Joe or Mike or Mary or Jenny. Gauranteed they'll be the only one in their class. If you name them Megan or Ashley or Tyler or Austin they'll forever have to be identified by their full name. They will be one of 13, which is how many Megans my daughter tells me are in her grade.

My brother's High School friend Bob Fry had a sister named Electra.

I wanted to name a son Ford, but a) we didn't have a son and b) my wife wouldn't let me do it. :-)

Some from the world of sports: God Shammgodd (basketball), Ben Gay (football), Richard "Stubby" Clapp (baseball), Wonderful Monds Jr. (football) and Wonderful Monds III (baseball). And don't even get me started on women's tennis. (OK, briefly. Best woman's name: Ruxandra Dragomir. Best man's name: Bohdan Ulirach, which whould be a great name for a rock band)

I also knew a guy in high school named Tony Anthony.

And if you want to see the effect of popular culture on names, go to the census website and look at the history for Xander and Willow. (For next year I'd buy stock in Seth and Summer.)

Don't forget NASCAR legend Dick Trickle or perfect pitcher Randy Johnson. (which really gets a rise out of our English comrades) Or anthropologist Richard Leakey, known to friends as Dick.

I went to school with a guy named Deth Im. (Alphabetize it by last name). (It was pronounced "Date", more or less, and was short for Sitthideth.)

Of course, all of this is coming from someone with an ancestor whose first name was "Hermit", as best I can determine.

The sign at a local church lists their pastor:

The Honorable Reverend
Dick Shook.

My great-grandpa's name was "Obadiah Hokum", but he named his firstborn "Orrin Herbert". His cousin's name was "Peleg", pronounced "Pee leg". Western North Carolina, ya know.

i kinda like "Apple"

A girl on my street growing up: Wendy Weathers
A guy in my high school class: Rucker Betty
A guy in my college dorm: Ignatius Turdo

True, all.

Unconfirmed story from a friend: A rural mother named her newborn "Placenta" because she heard her doctor use the word and thought it pretty.

I've actually seen a seminar given on the economics of names. Apparantly there were more than a thousand newborns in 2001 in California
named "Unique", more than a hundred named "Uniq"
and only one named "Uniqqque". All true.
Also apparantly a bunch of kids named "C-Note"

And yes, apparently Crystal Lear's brother is named King.

I remember a usenet discussion on this years ago. Among those I remember was a woman named "Londonne City England", and men named "John Doe", and "Santa Claus". And yes, there really is a Santa Claus, and he *always* kept his passport around. (I imagine so did John Doe.)

I had a friend in HS named Crystal Clarity, and I barely escaped being named London.

ahb

my schoolteacher brother had a student named "Sir Derek." and that was his first name.

I remember reading a story a few years ago about a Mrs Warmwater in Southampton, England who gave birth to a baby boy. She insisted on naming him Luke.

Unbelievable but possibly true.

Local high school principal, Russian immigrant, last name Dikov.

Named his daughter Tara.

Swear to G-d. Met her at a party. Scared the living daylights outta me.

A new nominee!

Helen Hunt has named her new baby "Makena' lei Gordon Carnahan".

From AP:"Makena' lei Gordon Carnahan, born May 13, and her mom are both healthy, Huvane said. The father is Hunt's companion, Matthew Carnahan, who produced the TV series "Fastlane."

The baby's first name comes from a town in Maui, Hawaii, and her middle name is from Hunt's father, TV director Gordon Hunt."

http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/Movies/05/21/helen.hunt.ap/index.html

Please, please, PLEASE don't tell me that Makena' lei was the town in which the baby was conceived!

I'll throw in a vote for former Green Bay Packers RB Terdell Middleton, though perhaps the name isn't so awful if you insist on being called Dell for short....

Armageddon and Omniscient. Brothers, whom my wife taught in high school. Army and Omni for short. Nice kids.

Stone and Brick (twin boys, second name Wall).

A French official once refused to allow a couple to name their kid Zoobalon (sp?), the french name of the Magic Roundabout character Zebedee.

IN the late 70's someone gave his daughter the first and last names of the entire Liverpool football team. I'd guess she's changed her name by now.

Also, I remember a black guy in the Socialist Workers Party at the LSE, circa 1985, called Harold Wilson. 'Hi, my name's Harold Wilson, and I'm a revolutionary socialist'. Very nice guy, wonder what happened to him.

I went to school with a guy named King Kang Dong.

I've worked for 2 companies so far that have large databases with people's names in them. My favorites:

Marmalade Cherbert (pronounced Sherbert)
Rusty Hammer (I swear I'm not making that up)
Jack Frost
Al Capone

Various others that are borderline obscene that I can't immediately recall. :)