Thursday, July 8, 2004

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The latest cosmic mystery


Academy Award-winning actress Nicole Kidman is having trouble meeting available men, according to the Associated Press:

Being a single mother makes it difficult to find a mate, says actress Nicole Kidman.

"I'm hoping to meet someone and be happy with them. But that's not as easy as it sounds. I'm a 37-year-old woman with two children. Men aren't beating a path to my door," she said in an interview published in the latest issue of "Now" magazine Wednesday.

"I don't want to sound like a woman from a lonely hearts club and I don't want to advertise. The children are my priority. I take them around with me — movies or baseball games or local shows — and that's not so appealing for any new man on the scene, is it?" she said.... "But I'm single and there's no-one out there for me at the moment." (emphasis added)

So, basically, Miss Kidman -- who has some noteworthy professional accomplishments on her vita and is by many accounts a charming conversationalist -- is having difficulties finding a kid-friendly boyfriend of a suitable age.

Let's take another gander at Nicole:



Possible explanations for this eligible bachelor gap:

1) Single men over the age of 30 are painfully shy;
2) Single men over the age of 30 are deathly afraid of rejection;
3) Single men over the age of 30 are morons.

posted by Dan on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM


Saw this on a poster once. The text, overlaid onto a picture of a stunning woman, read:

"Remember, no matter how sexy she is, no matter how beautiful she is, no matter how alluring she is, someone, somewhere, is tired of her shit."

Maybe that's what's at work here. Or a sabotage campaign by the Scientologists.

posted by: Steve in Houston on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

Or, single men over the age of 30 all know Nicole's former husband, if they're connected to the movie business. Or they're not connected to the movie business, and don't like her movies. Or they think most movie stars have to be a little crazy no matter what they look like (and let's face it...). Or they don't like being photographed by the paperazzi and called by the National Enquirer after the first date. Maybe it's not the kids, it's the career.

I remember what an A-list couple Elizabeth Taylor and John Warner were, back in the day, before he got elected to the Senate and she discovered that all of the people at Washington parties only wanted to talk to him. That's not really on-topic, I just thought it was amusing at the time.

posted by: Zathras on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

Similar to the above, possibility 4:

Single men over 30 may have had previous experience with women who know they are attractive.

The risk of "But y'know, she could be different" may still be too high.

posted by: Assistant Village Idiot on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

Or, maybe, Nicole has no interest in 99% of men in the world. Maybe she only wants to meet men who are rich, gorgeous and, in general, on her level. That reduces the pool considerably to CEOs, athletes and other movie stars. And, really, how many guys are going to have the cojones to try to meet Nicole Kidman. But if she really has problems, she could consider a dating service. They are pretty reasonably priced.

posted by: MWS on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

Who wouldn't want someone with her looks -- and goes to baseball games!

posted by: Robert Tagorda on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

I'll be 30 years and 1 day old on Oct. 30th.

You other gents just wait until then.

Do you think she'll be interested in a poor graduate student living in Atlanta?

posted by: MattJ on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

4)Single men over the age of 30 are gay
5)Single men over the age of 30 are celibate.
6)Single men over the age of 30 don't go for the whole celebrity nonsense.
7)Single men over the age of 30 are quite happy being single and prefer it that way.

posted by: dce on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

I am older than she, I am reasonably successful financially (compared to most but not to her), and I love children. Thus, I hereby offer myself in service to Ms. Kidman (pending approval of my wife, of course).

posted by: steve on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

She's an Ozzie - maybe Jay should give her a ring?!

posted by: Jon on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

Who cares? Her new plastic surgery face is hideous with her ultra-slanted cat eyes. She's so vain she screwed her face up. That definitely looks like a pre-plastic surgery picture by the way.

posted by: Patrick on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

...wife caught me so I just say nice `er hair..ouch..dont ask...

posted by: Rob..NC on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

8) Single men over 30 are more optimistic about Ted Rall's chances of winning the Nobel Prize in physics than in the ability and willingness of the average Hollywood actress to forge long-lasting relationships.

9) She dated Lenny Kravitz (From Kim du Toit)

I'm single and over 30 - I oughta know.

posted by: Alan K. Henderson on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

I have to agree with Alan & Kim. You really want Lenny Kravitz' sloppy seconds? Plus I'm suspecting that she may be just a wee bit high maintenance...

posted by: Cybrludite on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

while I've never had the problem personally, some men find someone who is with drop dead like this girl's got to be an intimidating factor. So, shy/rejection is a valid point.

That aside, though I think Kidman's largest issue isn't the kids or the looks. Her problem is her track record. Consider a hypothetical:

We have two women, with equal looks, and personality. We can make them twins, if you like. One's been married and divorced a few times. The other's never been married. If you're after a stable relationship, which of the two will seem the more logical choice?

posted by: Bithead on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

Sorry mates, but don't count me in. I just made the leap into not-so-single status with my very own Aussie (who happens to have never dated Lenny Kravitz).

posted by: Jay Drezner on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

Kidman is interested in the top .05% of men. Those men have the pick of the litter. I know a man in that category who dated an (admittedly less gorgeous) 40-year-old actress who starred in a blockbuster movie a decade before. He ended up dumping her--he liked college girls better.

Nothing's easy for women.

posted by: Rachel on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

Might it be that Nicole is just a tad too picky?

My guess is yes.

Romantic life hint: define your dating pool as being men who are at least as smart as you are, not just those who are as famous as you are. This will increase your chances of encountering a suitable mate by a factor of roughly 10 million, pretty much ensuring a date next Saturday. And remember that your fame is based in no small part on a combination of good looks and good luck, things not likely to stick around long anyway.

posted by: frankly0 on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

I don't see anything in that article that suggests Kidman is only interested in men her own age. Let some of us 20-something whippersnappers take a crack at her. We're much easier to break. Worked for Demi Moore.

posted by: Roland on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

Okay let's look at it this way.

1) There are going to be a lot of guys who don't ask her out because she's out of their league. I couldn't get a date with Miss Kidman. I couldn't get close enough to knock on her front door.

2) The guys who are in her league can get a better deal. Yes she's pretty, but so are lots of younger women without kids.

3) While it may seem glamorous to date a movie star, everybody "knows" they're fickle and career oriented. While sleeping with one might be a fantasy, an actual relationship would be oriented on them, them, them. Plus movie stars are notoriously insecure. And insecure people are difficult in relationships. We talking "high maintenance" here. Why not date someone less famous and who will be more interested in meeting your needs?

So while it may seem strange, I believe Miss Kidman entirely when she says she doesn't have a lot of serious interest in her as a gf.

posted by: Oldman on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

I'm almost 40, never married, and I'd date her and the kids no problem. So...

10) can't get her phone number!

posted by: Ursus on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

I vote for: Single men over 30 can't get past her 'people'.

posted by: Jon H on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

Who cares? Her new plastic surgery face is hideous with her ultra-slanted cat eyes. She's so vain she screwed her face up. That definitely looks like a pre-plastic surgery picture by the way.

Don't forget the Botox! She now looks like a weird robotic version of her formerly-hot self.

posted by: R Helms on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

I can't believe that no one has yet advanced the theory that in this interview Kidman is simply lying through her capped teeth.

posted by: Gerard Van der Leun on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

"Worked for Demi Moore."

I bet Bruce Willis has a few stories...

posted by: Alan K. Henderson on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

Cruise, Kravitz, Botox, cat eyes, paparazzi, headcase... I'd still hit it.

(My that was vulgar!)

posted by: Brian on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

ojhmdwtad upzjiuiatp.

posted by: Robert on 07.08.04 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

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