Tuesday, October 18, 2005

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Yo Geritol!!

In my first visit to Souther California, my guide took me to Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills. After gawking at the stores and the price tags, we stumbled into an art gallery that was having quite a function -- lots of guys with slicked-back pony tails, black suits, black shirts, and black ties [Cut them some slack -- this was 1990--ed.]

It turned out that we had stumbled into a retrospective of the artwork of... Sylvester Stallone.

The piece of his I remember the most was "Rocky V." This was a collage of typed manuscript pages on a canvas with gobs of paint splattered everywhere. It was very... three-dimensional.

I dredge this memory out of my brain and inflict it on all of you because of this Associated Press story:

Rocky is planning another comeback.

Fifteen years after starring in "Rocky V," Sylvester Stallone is reprising his role as the boxing champ in the sixth "Rocky" movie, publicist Michelle Bega said Monday.

The 59-year-old actor will write and direct "Rocky Balboa," which will begin shooting in Philadelphia and Las Vegas next year.

Stallone told the Daily Variety trade magazine the movie will focus on an aging, widowed Rocky who is reluctant to get back in the ring but ends up doing it "just to compete, not to win."

I look forward with bated breath to see the work of art that Stallone will forge out of this screenplay.

Readers are strongly encouraged to suggest an age-appropriate opponent for Stallone's senior boxing flick. With apologies to Fight Club, I'd have to vote for William Shatner.

posted by Dan on 10.18.05 at 04:18 PM


How about one of those outstanding public intellectuals?

posted by: Zathras on 10.18.05 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

George "The Animal" Steele


Or Mr. Miyagi.

posted by: Jeremy on 10.18.05 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

I nominate Buster Crabbe.

posted by: Pejman Yousefzadeh on 10.18.05 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

The wizened, old, not-so-sinewy Stallone tottering into antiquity should, as defender of the right and pursuer of lofty undertakings, do battle with the Great Enchanter to win the hand of fair Dulcinea.

Instead of Rocky Six, how bout Rocky's 60?

posted by: Borgia on 10.18.05 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

IMDB.com has reported that Stallone wants to recruit Roy Jones Jr. to be his antagonist. Stallone wants to name the character (I am not kidding here!) Mason "The Line" Dixon.

See IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/news/wenn/2005-10-18/#3

posted by: Scott on 10.18.05 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

Is anyone else here having a flashback moment to one of the first two Airplane movies (I think it was the second) when Sonny Bono is in the convenience store buying his bomb for the plane ride...

Anybody remember the poster in the background??? Anybody other than Dan???

Yes, I believe it was a poster of Rocky 86 showing a mock-up of Sylvester Stallone as a septuagenerian barely able to lift his title belt above his head. Only 80 more to go...

posted by: Jay Drezner on 10.18.05 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

Dick Cheney.

posted by: DaveL on 10.18.05 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

Maybe the CGI department could bring Burgess Meredith back to virtual life.

posted by: Alan K. Henderson on 10.18.05 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

Robert Blake

posted by: Travis on 10.18.05 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

Forget Rocky or this art exibit, the best thing Stallone has ever done was when he joined Bin Laden, Zarquawi and the other mujahadeen in Afghanistan for Rambo III. Who could forget seeing those selfless freedom fighters working with the CIA to defeat those crazy commies, and in true Rambo form! It is an amazing piece of American history and should be shown to everyone.

posted by: forget rocky on 10.18.05 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

Joe Louis?

posted by: chris on 10.18.05 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

Jack Lalane

posted by: James on 10.18.05 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

Sorry, forget, but Bin Laden was doing missionary work among the refugees and was never one of our proxies. They tended to end up in the Northern Alliance. Better luck next time.

posted by: triticale on 10.18.05 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

One of the great but quick sight gags in the movei "Airplane" is a poster for ROCKY XXVII.

Stallone versus Dick "Darth" Cheney. It's a natural.

posted by: save_the_rustbelt on 10.18.05 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

Let's not forget how Bart Simpson uses the Rocky films to help him remember Roman numerals: "Rocky V plus Rocky II = Rocky VII: Adrian's Revenge."

posted by: Jeremy B. on 10.18.05 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

Mike Tyson probably could use the money.

posted by: rastajenk on 10.18.05 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

i can't beleive no on has suggested clint eastwood yet. proven on the boxing movie circuit, old as dirt, why not?

posted by: jb on 10.18.05 at 04:18 PM [permalink]


Clint wasn't picked because any movie, even crappy movies, needs dramatic tension. We all know Clint would kick the living crap out of Stallone.

posted by: Travis on 10.18.05 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

Abe Simpson (ie., Homer's dad)

posted by: Tom on 10.18.05 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

Why not our kind host? He'll have some time, albeit unwanted, to fill, a boxing movie billing credit would most certainly distinguish him from every other IR prof wannabe, and opposite Sly, his lack of acting pedigree won't be too apparent. Why not go for it, Dan?

posted by: Tom on 10.18.05 at 04:18 PM [permalink]

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