Finally, a really good use for a frozen turkey! As an avid cook I always wonder what the "convenience" of frozen turkeys is anyway--they take up an entire normal-sized freezer, displacing necessities (like chicken nuggets). You have to remember to move them into the fridge where they displace other important items, like leftovers that no one will ever eat, at least by Tuesday AM (there'll still be frozen spots on Thursday, which will contribute to the too dry/undercooked combo dilemma that plagues so many of us). They leak turkey blood all over the fridge (contaminating the moldy contents of the fruit/veg drawers which needed a good cleaning anyway).

Or--and please Drezner readers, do NOT do this--people defrost them overnight in a botulism-broth of warm water in the kitchen sink. Shoot me now!!

On the other hand, if you have the sense to pre-order a fresh turkey from a butcher shop or Whole Foods-type store, pick it up on Wednesday along with all the other FRESH ingredients of the feast, you have only to store it in the fridge one night (preferably in a nice salt brine to ensure moistness). It cooks quicker (be sure to use a meat thermometer, not the pop-up plastic crap) and more evenly--hey, it even has flavor! Who put the flavor in my turkey? Indeed.

Ahhhh, but the frozen turkey is free at the local mega-market when you have your clutch of reciepts. (Or the modern equivalent, the loyalty "supersaver" card) Mine's thawing quietly in the fridge, and tomorrow evening I'm deboning the beast, brining the flash in apple-juice and oranges, and roasting the carcass for an overnight stay in the stockpot. Then Thursday all I have to do is prep the stuffing and shove-both into the oven for a slow roast.

Once you learn the secret of deboning a turkey, you'll never roast a whole one again. Though your children may go screaming from the Kitchen if they catch you in mid-debone-mode. It's like a home-reenactment of the lunch-scene in Alien where the critter busts-out of John Hurt's chest.

As the case on Long Island last year showed, any weapon that can be used for good can also be used for harm. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, a pack of wild teenagers threw a frozen turkey out of their car, which crashed through another car's windshield and nearly killed the driver.)

I avoid the question altogether through the heretical step of skipping the Turkey. I really don't like whole Turkey.

Why did the pilgrims eat Turkey ? Because they couldn't get chicken. Why don't Americans eat much turkey (except as cold meats and in the occasional sandwich) much of the year ? because it tastes much worse than chicken.

Why do we have to spend so much time putting the turkey in brine, putting gravy over it, stuffing it ? Because its tasteless.

Strike a blow against mindless conformity !! Boycott Turkey and celebrate Thanksgiving with a nice tasty game bird instead !!

Indeed Erg. If I could persuade my wife that venison (which I believe the pilgrims ate at their Thanksgiving) was a suitable replacement for turkey I'd be a happy man.
Sadly, even if I were to offer to cook the entire meal (as opposed to just the desserts that I do now) she still wouldn't go along with the suggestion.

What is so convenient about a frozen turkey? It seems to just add a step to the whole process, while leading to a worse-tasting meal.

Such culinary snobbiness, it's unseemly. I've deep-fried frozen and fresh birds, and you can't tell the difference. I guess there are hierarchies in all walks of life, but to be snooty about turkeys seems especially pretentious.

Mr. McCullen -- when will our government give up the frozen turkey control we so desperately need?

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