Friday, December 8, 2006

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The perils of precocious children

A breakfast play, in one act (draft only):

MOTHER: Sam, what would you like for breakfast?

SAM (6 years old): Waffles!!

MOTHER: Sam, I'm afraid we're out of waffles. What else would you like to eat?

SAM: I don't want anythiing else. I want waffles!!

MOTHER: Sam, you're just going to have to adapt.

SAM: No, I do not have to adapt!!

MOTHER: Sam, if you don't adapt, you're going to go the way of the dinosaurs.

SAM: That's not true!! The dinosaurs are extinct because an asteroid hit the Earth!! Adapting didn't have anything to do with it.

MOTHER (in stage whisper to father): S**t!!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Use cereal bars as deus ex machina to end play if necessary.

posted by Dan on 12.08.06 at 07:55 AM


Brilliant. (Said by one Dad to another.)

posted by: Crust on 12.08.06 at 07:55 AM [permalink]

MOTHER: Sam, would you prefer eggs or cereal for breakfast?
SAM: I want eggs.

posted by: OpenBorderMan on 12.08.06 at 07:55 AM [permalink]

Only in homes where this play has been repeated many times can you truly understand Eggo commecials.

posted by: John Surratt on 12.08.06 at 07:55 AM [permalink]

Adaptation had everything to do with it, unless the asteroid actually hit the dinosaurs themselves. The article mentions the asteroid changed their environment, the dinosaurs did not adapt to this new environment and died out.

There's a small problem in the comparison between saying Sam has to adapt (a conscious decision on his part), and saying the dinosaurs died because they didn't adapt, because it was not a conscious decision on their part, or anything they had any sort of control over. It was more like bad luck. But Mom was basically right. The dinosaurs did not adapt and died out. Sam can choose to adapt, and should.

I think I can totally out-debate a 6 year old.

posted by: dorkafork on 12.08.06 at 07:55 AM [permalink]

(In an even tone)
No, Sam, waffles killed the dinosaurs.

posted by: Tim on 12.08.06 at 07:55 AM [permalink]

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