Tuesday, March 4, 2008
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Pick my fake memoir title!!
The New York Times' Motoko Rich reports on the latest memoir scandal:
In “Love and Consequences,” a critically acclaimed memoir published last week, Margaret B. Jones wrote about her life as a half-white, half-Native American girl growing up in South-Central Los Angeles as a foster child among gang-bangers, running drugs for the Bloods.Once you hit three examples, a media trend is officially declared. Since I am such a slavish follower of these trends, I have decided to write my own fake memoirs!!
My problem is that it strains credulity for me to claim the kind of drug or criminal experiences that Frey and others concocted. So, clearly, I need to devise a plausible set of fake bad behaviors that I can use to hawk my own fake memoirs.
Afer racking my brain for a few seconds, I have come up with three possible fake memoir titles. Let me know in the comments which one you prefer -- or come up with one of your own!!:
1) Confessions of a Housing Hit Man: Why I Helped Blow Up the Housing Bubble (With the Help of, You Know, the People Who Decided to Buy the Houses) and Now Regret It.UPDATE: I forgot... fake names for the fake memoir title would be appreciated. Come to think of it, there should be a formula for this kind of thing, like figuring out your porn star name.
I hereby declare the formula to determine your Fake Memoir Name to be......drumroll..... the first name of your gender-appropriate paternal grandparent + the last name of your first-grade teacher.
In which case, my Fake Memoir name is.... Lou Hayes.posted by Dan on 03.04.08 at 08:59 AM
The formula is nice but I'm afraid no one will buy anything form someone named Bud Wort.posted by: Keith on 03.04.08 at 08:59 AM [permalink]
"The Deep Throat Economist: How I Manipulated Alan Greenspan's Most Important Decisions"posted by: Jim Esten on 03.04.08 at 08:59 AM [permalink]
Between A Rock, Iraq and a Hard Place: My Secret Life as George Bush's Crack Dealer, Middle East Advisor and Lover; by RC McGavin. (Joe Wilson has already blurbed it.)posted by: tom on 03.04.08 at 08:59 AM [permalink]
Bud Wort is not as bad as my fake memoir name: "I-don't-know-his-name-but-he-got-my-grandmother-pregnant-in-1926-then-skipped-off-to-Venezuela Wharton." Honestly, it doesn't matter the title of the memoir, the author's name along would sell a few.posted by: Bill on 03.04.08 at 08:59 AM [permalink]
Orlo Lenihan? I guess it has a ring to it.posted by: Jim on 03.04.08 at 08:59 AM [permalink]
How about danieldreznermemoirs.com?posted by: Zathras on 03.04.08 at 08:59 AM [permalink]
Harry Butts. For real.posted by: Useless Sam Grant on 03.04.08 at 08:59 AM [permalink]
Ambrose Kula? Sounds like a drug runner to me.posted by: Alex Strittmatter on 03.04.08 at 08:59 AM [permalink]
The name: Leonard Cone (I used my maternal grandfather, as I am named after my paternal grandfather)
The memoir: Blame Canada -- My Secret Role In Our Northern Neighbor's Secret Plan To Cause Global Warming and Grow Marijuana Where Polar Bears Roamposted by: Appalled Moderate on 03.04.08 at 08:59 AM [permalink]
I went to Catholic school, our teachers didn't have last names.posted by: Mitchell Young on 03.04.08 at 08:59 AM [permalink]
The Memoir Name - Barry Turner
The Memoir - Beyond All Boundaries: One man's quest to rediscover the lost art of cow brain soup among the landmine-infested mountains of Iraqi Kurdistan.posted by: Jonathan Dworkin on 03.04.08 at 08:59 AM [permalink]
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