Too bad we wacked Quasay a bit too early. Early in March, some blogger were predicting a Quasay version of the Spanish Prisoner/Nigerian 4-1-9 scam.

That is pretty funny.

Were there any Osama Bin Laden-related e-mails?

Seriously, I got an e-mail pretending to be from paypal.com, asking me to update my account by entering in my account #, bank account #, ATM #, etc. The scary thing is, the e-mail was so convincing I might have actually done it, if the request for an ATM # hadn't set off alarm bells (despite their assurances that it was only "for confirmation purposes.")

A few weeks later, Paypal sent out a genuine e-mail explaining that they would never ask for an account #.

Hah, beat you to it. I got back to him yesterday.

Told my boss today to shove it. Maxed out all my credit cards. Ahh, the good life.

No more worries, right?

SMG

Damn you, SMG!! Damn you all to hell!!

There's something fishy about that email. If he is living in the UK, why does he have a Canadian email address?
I'd investigate further if I was you.

Dan:
Hey, sorry. Gotta' be quick nowadays.

Here's what I'll do: send me your bank account number and I'll talk to my friend Al about giving you a piece of this action. Can't guarantee you a great deal; but maybe we can throw you a bone or two.

Hey, we're all friends here on the Internet, right?

SMG

Over the last two years I've gotten variations of this spam scam from people purporting to be from Nigeria, Ivory Coast, Burundi, Sierra Leone, Congo, Mali, Burkina Faso, and now Iraq. I predict a major surge of offers from phantom Palestinians and Cubans as soon as Arafat and Castro die, and I don't even want to think about what the spam scammers will do when the Pope passes on. If they all die at the same time it will likely crash my ISP's servers.

The 3rd Annual Nigerian
EMail Conference
"Write better emails. Make more moneys."

I am Mr. Laurent Mpeti Kabila, a senior assistant leader of the Revolutionary United Front of Sierra Leone.

I present to you an urgent and confidential request: I request your attendance at The 3rd Annual Nigerian EMail Conference. This is an excellent opportunity to meet your distinguished colleagues, learn new marketing techniques, and spend your hard-earned money. Attending this conference demands the highest trust, security and confidentiality between us.

Dates: November 7 - 9, 2003
Location: Abuja Sheraton Hotel & Casino
Registration Fee: $995 per person

Like most Nigerians, you're probably finding that it's increasingly difficult to earn a decent living from email. That's why you need to attend the 3rd Annual Nigerian EMail Conference.

"This conference is an investment in your future. Learn to take advantage of modern technology, and make a great deal of money with very little effort. If you have any question, please contact me and I will send you a proposal that may be of interest to you. I await your response by return while assuring you that the transaction is absolutely risk free."

- Dr. Collins Mbadiwe
Preliminary* List of Events

As in the past, this conference
has something for everyone.
You will hear presentations by
some of the world's leading
Nigerian Email businessmen
and businesswomen.

Following are just a few of the
many events that are scheduled.

*

Breakfast Kickoff Session:
Your choice: A hard boiled egg, or two slices of white bread and a cricket.
*

Keynote Address:
Dr. Hamza Kalu's adds some historical perspective in his keynote address: "From Postal Scams To Email Scams: We Have Come a Long Way Infant Child."
*

Debate:
Attend a lively debate between Lady Mariam Abacha and Mr. Godwin Oyathelem. Topic: "The effectiveness of using all UPPERCASE characters."
*

Practical Discussion:
Mallam Mahmud Abacah answers the question, "Are 10 million emails a day too many?"
*

Competition:
Other countries are now adapting our business. Is this a threat or an opportunity?
*

Tech Session:
Mrs. M Sese-Seko reveals valuable secrets in her session titled, "Those Pesky Email Headers"
*

Commerce:
Find out how banking systems throughout the world operate -- with special emphasis on money transfers.
*

Linguistics:
Damn, spam, scam, sham. And more rhymes in the "sticks and stones" category.
*

Telecommunications:
Soliciting via cell phone text messaging: Can it work?
*

Accounting:
The taxman he's a comin': Keeping good and accurate records.
*

Open Discussion:
We will resume last year's high-spirited discussion of unionization, including health benefits.
*

Workshop:
Grammatical errors: What's the optimal number?
*

Statistics:
Dr. Kayode Naiyeju presents his ground-breaking research: "Analyzing response rates using analysis of variance: That pesky R-squared value," as published in The Nigerian Journal of Applied Statistics.
*

Economics:
A round table discussion: Is email now Nigeria's top export?
*

For Newcomers:
View an entertaining PowerPoint presentation that describes how to get started in this lucrative business, with no initial investment!
*

Hand-on Session:
Experts critique your emails, and offer valuable tips.

* The actual schedule of events and participants depends on various trial outcomes and extradition hearings.

Accommodations

The Abuja Sheraton Hotel is an elegant 5-star hotel in the heart of the new capital of Nigeria. For more information, click here. Only 575 rooms are available, so make sure you register early!

Amenities* include a bar, a barber shop, running water (hot AND cold), free parking, and a free newspaper (except for weekends).

Imagine yourself sitting in this modern conference room, surrounded by enterprising businessmen like yourself.

Spouses are invited, although they may not attend the conference sessions. Spouses must spend the day in their hotel room watching TV (two channels are available, and one is not cartoons).

* Restrooms are available in the hotel. Please use them.

From Past Conferences...

*

"My business has increased by 45%, and I am now experiencing an 89.4% ROI" - Mariam Abacha
*

"It was a genuine pleasure to meet other honorable business persons such as myself." - Isa Ahmed
*

"The presentation on P.T. Barnum was especially helpful." - Farouk Bakoh
*

"The hotel was very, very upscale. The running water was a nice touch! - Dr, Collins Mdadiwe
*

"I am pleased. I got many new email addresses as a direct result of this most valuable conference." - Aku Chukwu
*

"Now I know how to respond when someone refers to my business as a scam." - Franklin Dimmoh
*

"I AM FIRMLY CONVINCED THAT USING UPPERCASE LETTERS MAKES MY WRITING MORE EFFECTIVE." - Mr. Ibrahim Ahmed
*

"The free daily newspaper was very good to receive, but it is not come on Saturday." - Mrs. Mabel Mamumbi (my kidney disease is getting better, but I am still a widow)

Register Now!

Registration is via a confidential money transfer.

Send your bank's name, account number, your name, address, telephone number, and fax numbers. Please note again that this transaction is strictly confidential and as such should be kept secret. Be rest assured that this transaction is 100% risk free.

Kindly send the requested information (in complete confidence) to:

Nigerian EMail Conference
c/o Abuja Sheraton Hotel Abuja
Ladi Kwali Way Abuja, NG PMB 143

Nigerian EMail Association

------------------------
Unfortunately I did not compose the preceeding.

I just got a 419 from a childless Christian widow in Kuwait who's dying of cancer. Or possibly a stroke. It's a little unclear. Anyway, she wants to give $9.3 million to charity and is looking for someone to trust blindly to do that. She wants me to call her lawyer in Holland. She doesn't say this is risk-free, like most of them do, but if she's a good Christian, she must be honest, right?

Dear Sir, Please advise the current status of the fund and the name of the security company in London. Regards. Anthony

Hi,my name is Jim/And this messege is for Nigerians who offer big money/Please flood my mailbox everyday if possible with your money offers/And send me Lottery offers also/And send me offers for receiving money,for holding money/This messege posted on Friday December12,2003/If possible startsending me your offers tommoraw/And if possible send me a truckload full of offers whenever possible/Thank You

This is Jim/I posted a messege here a few weeks ago/I havent gotten my mailbox stuffed with offers yet/Please anybody/company stuff my mailbox everyday for years with offers/I want to start a moneymaking oppourtunity/Thank You/My mailing address is 3630 S. Sepulveda Blvd.=1-145 Los Angeles,California 90034

how about this scam
Dearest,

I felt greatly impressed reading from you after my mail to you yesterday, Thanks for your heart warming mail and communications, thou we are still to get to the pick of the matter. Is true that we have not know each other for the first time but just getting to know one another. Before I continue with my discussion with you, let me introduce myself in details. All I need from you is your good reputation, sincererity and honesty.

I am Mrs.Mabel Kabila, from Democratic Republic of Congo,my husband was the the former president of Congo. Currently, I am staying in Abidjan, the capital city of Cote D'Ivoire with my two children. The reason why I contact you is to ask for your kind assistance in my present condition. In all, I have been praying for a good reputable, sincere and honest person to assist me on this till I came across your profiles, with the deep feelings developed, my spirite conviced my me writing you after some days of chain prayers. In all we do, LET GOD BE OUR WITNESS.

My late husband(late President Laurent Kabila) made a deposited in a security company here in abidjan Cote d'Ivoire. Before his untimely death, he handed over all the documents of the fund to me which I made away with it for mylife sake according to his advise. He made this deposit in his name and the beneficiary he indicated as foriegn partner. I have been to the security company, but they refused I and my children having acces to the fund till the duely cleared by the foriegn partner of my late husband. Regarding this I am bleading with you to please kindly assist me as the foriegn business partner of my late husband and arrange for the transfer of this fund.

The total amount deposited by him is 20 million U.S.dollars. All the documents of the fund are with me and will be sent to you at the due time. Life here has been difficult with the prosent political crisis here. Meanwhile, in all, God takes care of me and my children.

Followint the amount involved in the deposit, I will like you to stand as my late husbands foriegn business partner and arrange for the transfer of the fund. I was assured by the security company, that once they receive an order from the business associat of my late husband, the fund will be released to him. They has seen all my documents give to me by my husband and has confirmed the legality of same. The only problem we are having now is the ratification of the mentioned forigne business partner of my late husband. Since you will agree to assist me, all I will want you to do for me is to contact the security company as the foriegn business partner of my late husband and order them to get the fund release and delivered or transferred to your designated bank account.

Following the information contained in the certificate of deposit and other relevant documents with covers the existance of the fund, the name of the foriegner was not written. By contacting the security company on my behalf, you stand as the partner and the fund released and transferred in your favour.

I am tied of staying here and will love to meet with you as soon as you confirm the receipt of the fund in your country. All I had ever wanted is to give my children a good future with that fund. I can send you the deposite certificate and my full identity(international passport) after hearing from you. I will like to see yours too.

The security company has asked me to provide the name of the foriegner(partner) before they will attend to my claims, and I want you to stand as my late husband's foriegn partner to enable them grant us the fund upon your contact with them. All their contacts will be given to you in your next mail. Please, God is my witness in all my discussions with you now. I am begging you to assist me on this. My husband deposited this fund because he has the intention of transferring it abroad before his untimely death.

Feel free to tell me all about yourself, and more on your marrital life too. I will send you my picture after hearing from you.

I hope hearing from you.
Yours Sincerely,

Mrs.Mabel

how about this scam
Dearest,

I felt greatly impressed reading from you after my mail to you yesterday, Thanks for your heart warming mail and communications, thou we are still to get to the pick of the matter. Is true that we have not know each other for the first time but just getting to know one another. Before I continue with my discussion with you, let me introduce myself in details. All I need from you is your good reputation, sincererity and honesty.

I am Mrs.Mabel Kabila, from Democratic Republic of Congo,my husband was the the former president of Congo. Currently, I am staying in Abidjan, the capital city of Cote D'Ivoire with my two children. The reason why I contact you is to ask for your kind assistance in my present condition. In all, I have been praying for a good reputable, sincere and honest person to assist me on this till I came across your profiles, with the deep feelings developed, my spirite conviced my me writing you after some days of chain prayers. In all we do, LET GOD BE OUR WITNESS.

My late husband(late President Laurent Kabila) made a deposited in a security company here in abidjan Cote d'Ivoire. Before his untimely death, he handed over all the documents of the fund to me which I made away with it for mylife sake according to his advise. He made this deposit in his name and the beneficiary he indicated as foriegn partner. I have been to the security company, but they refused I and my children having acces to the fund till the duely cleared by the foriegn partner of my late husband. Regarding this I am bleading with you to please kindly assist me as the foriegn business partner of my late husband and arrange for the transfer of this fund.

The total amount deposited by him is 20 million U.S.dollars. All the documents of the fund are with me and will be sent to you at the due time. Life here has been difficult with the prosent political crisis here. Meanwhile, in all, God takes care of me and my children.

Followint the amount involved in the deposit, I will like you to stand as my late husbands foriegn business partner and arrange for the transfer of the fund. I was assured by the security company, that once they receive an order from the business associat of my late husband, the fund will be released to him. They has seen all my documents give to me by my husband and has confirmed the legality of same. The only problem we are having now is the ratification of the mentioned forigne business partner of my late husband. Since you will agree to assist me, all I will want you to do for me is to contact the security company as the foriegn business partner of my late husband and order them to get the fund release and delivered or transferred to your designated bank account.

Following the information contained in the certificate of deposit and other relevant documents with covers the existance of the fund, the name of the foriegner was not written. By contacting the security company on my behalf, you stand as the partner and the fund released and transferred in your favour.

I am tied of staying here and will love to meet with you as soon as you confirm the receipt of the fund in your country. All I had ever wanted is to give my children a good future with that fund. I can send you the deposite certificate and my full identity(international passport) after hearing from you. I will like to see yours too.

The security company has asked me to provide the name of the foriegner(partner) before they will attend to my claims, and I want you to stand as my late husband's foriegn partner to enable them grant us the fund upon your contact with them. All their contacts will be given to you in your next mail. Please, God is my witness in all my discussions with you now. I am begging you to assist me on this. My husband deposited this fund because he has the intention of transferring it abroad before his untimely death.

Feel free to tell me all about yourself, and more on your marrital life too. I will send you my picture after hearing from you.

I hope hearing from you.
Yours Sincerely,

Mrs.Mabel

Hello all. I am a Nigerian and I came across this site and was laughing at the event between "Kafool" and "Weaver".

Weaver took some risks getting involved with this idiot. If the emails had been intercepted by authorities, he could have been charged along with the guy. Also Weaver assumed that this guy wasn't familiar with the film "little rascals" and the TV show "The Simpsons", both of which I saw in Nigeria b/4 I came here.

Some of these guys are Pros but most are clueless like this guy. When you get involved with bastards like this, you gotta watch out cause some of them are probably closer than you think.

Anyway, I get a lot of this emails on my email which is supposed to be "spam resistant" I was so mad I opened a new set of emails which gave me more options to control my email inbox. I just hit delete everytime on my old email.

What do you guys think about getting the IP or email addresses of these bastards and posting them on the web for spammers and hackers to find?

I wish I had the time like you guys did cause then I would really go after this guys like actually taking out contracts on these bastards because they are causing problems for people like me everytime.